The lure of a quick fix
We are living in a fast-paced world and this pace naturally creates a desire for fast solutions, for something that will bring relief quickly and easily. This is true in mental health too, and understandably so. Why wouldn’t we want something that helps us feel better fast?
Many platforms now promise speedy ‘solutions’, techniques that claim to resolve everything from relationship difficulties, to anxiety, trauma, addiction, or patterns of thinking and behaviour.
Often these approaches focus on one aspect of the human experience, for example, attachment style, trauma history, neurodivergence, the nervous system, thought patterns, or a particular theoretical model (and there are many of them). Sometimes the promotion is commercially driven, other times it comes from a genuine place of ‘this is what worked for me’.
I’d love to think that there could be a technique or therapy model that could do so much, so quickly, for everyone. A simple solution would be wonderful but the reality is far more nuanced.
Even highly experienced professionals continue to engage in their own growth. I was listening recently to Gabor Maté, now in his eighties, talking about the ongoing nature of his own inner work despite access to all the therapy models available to him.
The reality is that each human experience is complex and deeply individual. No single framework, label, or technique can fully capture who we are. One approach may be super helpful in one area of our life, and may have no impact upon another area. Something that is life-changing for someone, may have little impact for another.
In truth, the path to stronger mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing is nuanced and ongoing.
I was 29 years of age when I first attended one-to-one therapy and thankfully I found the first four sessions profoundly impactful. They changed how I saw myself and my way of being in the world, and started me on the path of personal psychotherapeutic growth and professional training.
However, as valuable as those sessions were, they did not remove the need for continued care. Over the years, I have returned to therapy, engaged in group work, and developed daily healthful practices to meet my changing needs. I don’t imagine that will ever stop. I think all the time I am living and breathing, I will need to keep checking in with myself, learning and growing.
I hope this doesn’t sound depressing; I certainly don’t intend it to be. I hope that it will land as reasonable and realistic and also to some degree empowering.
If we keep looking for a ‘fix’, we may unintentionally keep out-sourcing our growth to someone or something else. When we recognise the personal, individual nature of our experience, we also begin to recognise our personal capacity to meet ourselves with support and care.
There is nothing that can replace the value of healthy daily habits that we can consistently and lovingly give ourselves. So here are some reminders of all that is already within your reach:
- noticing your thoughts, emotions, dreams, and worries, and giving them space through reflection or journalling
- spending time in natural light every day
- speaking to yourself with kindness
- stretching and exercising your body
- meeting your emotions with compassion rather than resistance
- nourishing your body and mind with good food and water
- creating spaces to talk and share in meaningful ways
- making space for creativity and fun in your life
- experiencing ‘awe’ by noticing the natural world around us
A quick solution sounds appealing. To pay for something that makes everything feel better would be wonderful. But what tends to last is slower, steadier, and built over time. It is something we participate in, rather than something that is done to us.
Even if you need the additional support of personal therapy from time to time, please don’t overlook the daily nourishment that will be your life-long support.
Please keep tending to the small, daily ways of caring for yourself. They matter more than you may think.
PS. If you feel curious, this is a beautiful piece on the connection between awe and creativity by Hadassa Haack: https://hadassa.substack.com/p/the-awe-creativity-connection#
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