Do you sometimes wake up feeling ‘off’, ‘in a funk’, ‘in a bad mood’, or just feeling ‘down’? In those moments, we may instinctively wonder, ‘what is wrong?’ or ‘why do I feel this way’? We may think that if we can understand the reason we will be able to either justify or change how we feel. Sometimes there appears to be no valid explanation, it can simply feel like something has just been switched off for no reason. At these times, our next thoughts may be quite judgmental, inadvertently berating ourselves for feeling the way we do and again trying to change the way we feel.
Whilst it is understandable to want to feel more positive feelings, it is how we meet the more ‘tricky’ ones that matters so very much. Most of the options above involve a level of pressure to change, to move away from the feeling that is present. Even on the occasions where we feel ‘justified’ in our feeling, we may fear wallowing in it or getting stuck in it, indulging ourselves in some way, so we may strive to ‘get over it’.
Acceptance with kindness
What is so important is to accept our feelings with kindness. Whether or not we understand why this feeling is present, it is present and sometimes feelings are painful or heavy to carry. Acknowledging this means we need to take good care of ourselves, taking rest as needed and also taking exercise and eating well. In this way, we are educating ourselves beautifully. ‘I am allowed to feel all my feelings, I can take care of myself with all my feelings, and I am worth taking care of with all my feelings.’
This sends a powerful message to our core self: ‘I am precious, I am enough, I am okay.’ The paradox is that when we show up to ourselves with this level of acceptance, we take care of ourselves in a way that allows us to feel and process and move through to other emotions when we are fully ready and in a genuine way.
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I have many other little tips to share in upcoming courses related to topics like boundaries, defence mechanisms, and passive-aggression. Please connect to my quarterly newsletter so that I can keep you updated on upcoming events that may be of interest to you.
